One Year

Going through my old blog posts and reminiscing, I realized I have had my blog for just over a year.  My life is not terribly exciting yet so sometimes it is a struggle to find things to write about.

Sometimes it seems as if my life has not changed much at all, but then looking back on the past year it becomes clear that is not true.

I started my last two semesters of school, a new job, I got a new car, saw my best friend married and watched my baby grow.

At times the depression during this last year was so crippling I just wanted to curl into a ball and sob until I had no more tears.  Anyone who struggles with depression knows that does not work and often makes it worse.  I kept going because I had to.  My daughter needed me to be strong and present for her.  My job needed me to pay attention and show up.  There were errands that needed running, and chores to be done.

It was a year of growth and of finding how to continue on and not give in, no matter the amount of physical pain or the level of depression.  There are still moments of crippling depression and as I get closer and closer to the end of school it is happening more and more.  It terrifies me to think of what the next year will bring and with it more change.

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