Nobody ever tells you what life is really like after graduation. People hint at it and you may think about it in the dark corners of your mind, but the reality is far different. I finally graduated in April. A day filled with celebration, excitement and accomplishment. I was high on life with the whole world before me.
Shortly after graduation I and my daughter headed to England for the summer. It was the best summer of my life. We did not do anything extraordinary because flying us out there had been a graduation present from my parents. It was the best summer of my life because I was stress free. I didn’t have the constant worry of coming back to school and wondering if I was ever going to graduate.
I strengthened my relationship with my mother and watched my daughter grow. She was confident and made friends. Often I wouldn’t see her for hours. I could always hear her through the open window but she didn’t come into the house unless she needed a drink. People ask me what I did all summer and sometimes I feel guilty saying I did nothing, but, instead I spent the summer recharging.
The summer flew by in a flash and before I knew it we were back home. Once home, reality hit me like a brick wall. I had no plan. I did not have school to fall back on and I didn’t know where to start. I suffered a serious anxiety attack that put me in the hospital. I ended up being fine and after some tests went home to rest, but the experience was eye opening.
Life after graduation is scary. I am constantly looking for a job that will support my family. I know it is time to move on from Utah, but I am not sure in which direction. Two degrees and I still struggle to find a job that utilizes my talents. I have faith I will find the right job, it is the waiting I struggle with. No one tells you the biggest obstacle after school is patience.
At times I miss college. I miss the friends I made and I miss the structure of every day. I miss the professors and the way they made you see problems in a new light. I miss watching other students go about their day and I miss waking up every morning with somewhere to go and something to do. Graduation is lonely. It is easy to get sucked into the depression calling my name but I won’t give in. I am strong and I have faith in my future.